Math Insults

You would think after failing to pass the SOA/CAS Exam P/1 for the second time (that was an adventure*), I would be too consumed with studying (so that I finally pass and be able to find an internship for this summer), that I wouldn't even have time to think about writing a post on my blog. Especially when I have 17 credits**, work 16+ hours a week, and somehow manage to waste time on my computer every single day. *cough* And now I've just shamed myself***. Excuse me while I go study.

---several hours later---

Now onto the real reason for this post. Over the last few months, I've heard some awesome math "comebacks", thanks to the students I tutored.


"My relationships are like square roots. Most of them are irrational."


"You are the third derivative of position."




Gotta love math insults. Speaking of which, I decided to find more (via our good friend Google). And right off the bat--

"He probably thinks googol is a search engine."

"The intersection of her brain and reality, is the null set."

"You're as exciting as the derivatives of e^x."

These are non-math related, but some interesting tidbits I picked up from my classes thus far this semester.

• SCHOOL: Six Crappy Hours Of Our Lives
• Pedantic: using big words for the sake of big words
• Polysyllabic: word of many syllables (oh how I love irony...and self-explanatory words)

And my favorite, while learning about the law of marginal utility§ in my economics class, my professor shared how it also applies to dating.

The "Law" of Marginal Utility of Dating

• The first (maybe even second) date is great
• Each date after that gives you less additional satisfaction
• You realize the same thing is occurring to the person you're dating
• That's why you marry in order to prevent him or her from finding someone else who will give them higher additional satisfaction, and before you reach zero additional satisfaction

Well, this was a really random post. But that's okay, because randomness is what makes a good (unbiased§§) sample in statistics.

May your derivatives eventually reach zero, and your integrals be constant.

*Blizzard, test rescheduled, had to take a shuttle to take my test a week later in a city four hours away >_< Not to mention I did worse than the first time I took the test
**Technically 14 credits and a 3 credit class I'm auditing, but still taking up time
***Happens quite frequently actually. Only when I tell others the things that I should be doing will guilt me into finally doing what needs to be done.
§This basically says for each additional unit of consumption (say a Snickers bar), the less additional satisfaction you get (your fifth Snickers bar isn't as good as the first).
§§[sic]

Careers in Math

Seems like I've been plagued almost everyday this semester with the fear of trying to find a job in the future. First, it was the career fair (well, a couple of them), then receiving my official score of the Exam 1/P actuary test (and being resigned to the fact that I have to retake the test), constant worry about finding an internship for next summer so I can graduate, and a professor from BYU coming to speak about different careers that involve math. Which is what this post is on.

So I was very excited when the first career this professor mentioned was actuary. And he didn't even talk about careers as math teachers (whether high school or university), though he briefly mentioned them. But these are some of the awesome careers that require math:
Actuary (booyah!)
Animator
Architect
Astronaut
Attorney
Biologist
Biostatistician
Chemical Engineer
Chemist
College Professor
Computer Scientist
Cryptanalyst
Economist
Electrical Engineer
Epidemiologist
Forensic Analyst
Geologist
Mathematical Biophysicist
Mathematical Physicist
Mechanical Engineer
National Security Analyst (NSA...supposedly more secretive than the CIA)
Physician
Political Scientist
Quantitative Financial Market Analyst
Statistician
Stockbroker

...among others. For more details about any of these, check out this awesome site.

The main thing I learned from this forum was the fact that a lot of these jobs are looking for mathematicians. For example, many companies who hire computer programmers prefer mathematicians who know how to program. Who would have guessed my computer science cluster would actually come in handy? The reason employers look for mathematicians? It's because students who have studied math have been trained to logically think through problems and come up with solutions (though at times it seems more headache than what it's worth).

All through this semester, I've discovered something about myself, with the help of all this "career talk". Speaking with my peers in the Applied Mathematics bachelor program, a lot of them enjoy delving into the theory and abstract concepts of math. I, on the other hand, hate it. So why am I in a math degree? Honestly, I had no idea I'd dislike the theoretical part as much as I do when I decided on my major. But I don't regret it either. I just choose to apply my math rather than try to understand concepts that frustrate but eventually bring a great satisfaction to the people who are willing to put up with it. It's just not for me.

Which brings me to another point. Many of these careers, especially the theory-involved ones, require more than just a bachelor's degree. Except for actuaries. But that's because actuaries get their additional training in the field (and taking the 8+ tests in order to become a Fellow of the SOA--Society of Actuaries).

And now a shameless plug about an actuarial career.



I'm off to study some more. Pray that I score better than my first test--and since it was a 5, a better score means passing! ;D Ciao!

So you want to be an actuary? Good luck.

Whoo boy! It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? My apologies. And I have no excuses whatsoever. I was just being lazy (as in too busy doing fun stuff along with important stuff to actually think about my blog). But since today is a very nervewracking day, I decided it’d be perfect to share a post. Right now, my stomach is forming tiny little knots (can’t feel them, but subconsciously I know they are there). Why, you ask? Well, even if you didn’t, I’m still gonna tell you anyways. Just cuz I can do that

Anyways, for the past couple months, I’ve been studying for this thing called Exam 1/P, an exam about probability. It’s the first test to take in order to become an actuary. Now since I get this a lot (I think only one person actually knew what I was talking about before I tried to explain it…and I’ve told 20+ people), an actuary is someone who calculates risk, usually in a business setting. For example, life insurance companies will employ actuaries to calculate how much the company should charge someone for life insurance based on gender, age, demographics, or other important key details that come from previously collected data. That’s my definition anyway. There’s different kinds of actuaries, but I have yet to figure out how they’re different.

So this test I’m taking today…I’ve heard brutal things about it. Like how it has a 40% pass rate (whether that’s overall or just for people taking the test for the first time, can’t be sure). And it’s three hours to complete 30 multiple-choice questions. Okay, so the time limit I can deal with. It’s the grade that has me nervous. Cuz it’s not like other standardized tests I’ve taken. It’s not based on how many right out of how many wrong (well, it is, but in a very difficult roundabout way) and it’s not judged against everyone else that took the same test in the same testing window (like the ACT and SAT…at least, that’s what I’ve been told).

*Several hours later*

So…yeah…just got back from taking the exam. Thought I did pretty good on it. Unfortunately the paper that gives me the preliminary pass/fail score said otherwise. Now I’ll have to wait eight weeks to get my official score. I swear, if my score is 5, I’ll be SOO mad (6 to 10 is passing, btw). Looks like I get to study even more and prepare for the exam again in November. And I was looking forward to concentrating only on Exam 2/FM and the Putnam this semester.

On that note, I now go to dig mushrooms in a corner.

Are Mathematicians Insomniacs?

Are mathematicians insomniacs? Well, if we say that is true, and I'm a mathematician, then I must be an insomniac. But then that means that I just IMAGINE that I konk out within minutes of my head hitting the pillow. So then does that mean I'm not a mathematician? Or does it mean mathematicians have potential to become insomniacs? Grrr...I always hated these kind of logic questions. There's no POINT to them.

Hmm...(to quote one of my previous math professors). I started this entry about a month ago...but never actually finished it until now. But on to tonight's program--"ACTION!"

My roommate, who shall remain anonymous, shares the most interesting math details with me. First I would like to share the most AMAZING website EVER!!!! It answers math problems, plots graphs (including 3D), is a search engine, and is a much nicer name search than urban dictionary (*grumble* stupid urbandictionary.com and its disturbing entries). Anyways...I introduce to you *trumpet blows* WOLFRAMALPHA.COM!!!!!

Okay, that looks kinda weird in all caps. http://www.wolframalpha.com/ That's better. Go ahead. Explore. Ask questions. Enter an equation and have it be solved. Enter your birthdate and see what happened on the day of your birth. Enter your name and see how popular it is. Go ahead, I dare you. Hey, are you still reading this?

Sorry, lame attempt to quote Brian Regan. I digress.

Something else my roommate shared with me: a female mathematician by the name of Hypatia. http://www.coachlightpress.com/bygone/hypatia.shtml (the most interesting story is found in the sixth to last paragraph).

Happy belated Pi Day! I've been too busy this semester to properly write a post for the blog virtually no one reads. But I'm still here. Mainly so I can claim that I have a blog...no matter how unpopular it is. (Who cares about popularity? What else does one need besides math? This is, of course, disregarding all essential things to live, i.e. food, clothes, shelter...the Maslow Hierarchy of needs must be satisfied.)

This semester, I have learned loads about abstract algebra, numerical analysis, and a small understanding of the theory of probability and statistics (where you prove stats by using calculus...makes for very time consuming homework). I just wish I could remember what I learned. Maybe then I wouldn't fear the finals that are coming up so soon. (Three weeks?! *dies*)

On another note, it's really hard to find an internship for an applied math degree. So far, I'm looking at actuarial jobs just because I have virtually no idea what the job is (and therefore intrigues me) and because I have no idea what else to look for in a math specific job. I may very well do a senior project...and thus die from research and lack of money, since I'll have spent it all during a summer of unemployment. I spit on the economy for being sucky while I have to pay for college. *spit* Ewww...I'm not cleaning that up.

And that reminds me of something I heard in my philosophy of education class (cuz apparently I enjoy mind-numbing pointless work for a class that has virtually no use for me in the future...unless I do actually work for a public school since the country will become so desperate for math and science teachers, and thus the school will pay for my teaching certificate, and tell me what I can and can't do according to the state laws, and blah blah blah...).

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.
These are the things I learned:

• Share everything.
• Play fair.
• Don't hit people.
• Put things back where you found them.
• Clean up your own mess.
• Don't take things that aren't yours.
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
• Wash your hands before you eat.
• Flush.
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
• Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
• Take a nap every afternoon.
• When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
• Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
• Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
• And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

http://www.peace.ca/kindergarten.htm

I leave you with this haphazard entry, and wishing you all a happy March (soon-to-be-April), go do math-related things! (This includes taxes, balancing checkbooks, math homework-any homework for that matter-, counting the number of ceiling tiles and always losing count in the 60s or 70s because someone keeps interrupting your personal time to bond with the ceiling tiles-I told you...give me five more minutes, and THEN I can answer all of life's questions...except the questions about life itself...you'll have to see a shrink for that one.)

For the Love of Math

"I'm acute, you're acute, maybe together we can make it right."

I love having a fellow math major as a roommate. We understand each others' math jokes, like the above pick up line we made up on the spot. We speak math to each other, help each other understand math concepts (like when I was trying to explain what rings are in abstract algebra...and another of my roommates kept insisting it was a piece of jewelry). This same math-loving roommate understands my affinity for math...something my other roommates (including previous ones) don't seem to understand.

But aside from that...third week of the latest semester is completed. Second semester of Abstract Algebra (what in the WORLD am I thinking?!), numerical analysis (I'm going to learn how my calculator works...and become smarter than it), and probability & statistics (calc and stats combined...I think my brain imploded just typing that). And yet I still love math. ^__^

Oh, and the next time someone Z-snaps at you, Z-snap back saying, "I do the integers. What now?" (You know...Z, the symbol for the integers...the symbol at the right...right over there. You DO see it, right? Sheesh...)

Have a Mathy...Happy Halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! As a treat, I share this picture I made based somewhat on something someone drew in my Multivariable Calculus class a year ago. And for those who don't know, eigenvalues are values associated with a square matrix that can be used to analyze its behavior in multiplying any vector. It's basically a scalar that can multiply with a corresponding eigenvector, so that when you multiply the square matrix and the eigenvector together, it is the same thing as multiplying the eigenvalue with the eigenvector (Ax = λx, where A is a square matrix, x is a nonzero vector, and λ is the eigenvalue).

I won't even start on the gradient (fx,fy) and what it does. It would take too long (and I don't really feel like explaining partial derivatives when I should be studying for my Differential Equations test).

"Trick or Treat" by Andy Gold

"Trick or treat, trick or treat, give us something good to eat. If you don't, we don't care, we'll put red ants in your hair. Trick or treat, trick or treat, we love candy oh so sweet. Each and every Halloween we all say trick or treat!"

Math Geek Alert

This is just a random post cuz I need to waste time. (Conscience: Waste time? You don't have time for that! Get back to studying for your abstract algebra midterm! You want to fail?!) No, I don't want to fail. Thank you, conscience. But I can't study without my abstract algebra notes/textbook, now can I? (Conscience: *silence*) That's what I thought. So, ignoring the voice(s) in my head, here we go!


Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!

A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"
"Of course not, dear - I love you much more!"
Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"
Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok... Let epsilon be greater than zero..."

*This one describes me...well, the last part anyway*
"So how's your boyfriend doing, the math student?"
"Don't mention that crazy pervert to me anymore! We broke up."
"How can you say such a nasty thing about him? He seemed to be such a nice boy."
"Imagine! He was restless during the days and couldn't sleep at night - always trying to solve his math problems. When he had finally done it, he wasn't happy: he would call himself a complete idiot and throw all his notes into the garbage. One day, I couldn't take it anymore, and I told him to drop math. You know what he told me?"
"No."
"He said, he enjoyed it!!!"

Q: What does the Ph.D. in math with a job say to the Ph.D. in math without a job?
A: `Paper or plastic?'

"What is Pi?"
A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."
A computer programmer: "Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision."
A physicist: "Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."
An engineer: "Pi is about 22/7."
A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"

At a conference, a mathematician proves a theorem.
Someone in the audience interrupts him: "That proof must be wrong - I have a counterexample to your theorem."
The speaker replies: "I don't care - I have another proof for it."
*I put this one here because in my abstract algebra class, my professor made the comment that one of the students would prove the next fourty theorems just by saying, "Because I say so," and we wouldn't question it*


Well...that's over. And I just killed an hour and a half. (Sorry time/clock/whatever controls hours.) That's what searching for math jokes does to you. And I never knew there were so many. Now I'm leaving this crazy joint I call my blog. (Conscience: So you gonna do your abstract algebra now?) Is the limit as x approaches zero of sin(x)/x equal to -1? (Conscience: Uhh...no?) There's your answer.

P.S. I actually had some cooler stuff, but blogspot apparently doesn't like me having too many spaces when I "draw" pictures via the keyboard. So I'll try to figure a way to share the fun things with you at a later date.